Yuletide angst (with a mostly happy ending)

[carbonel]

This is my not-quite-annual "OMG, why do I do this to myself?" whinge.

I signed up for Yuletide, and got my match. Unlike many other years, I was totally unfamiliar with three of the four fandoms, but (of course) the last one was a fandom I'd offered. I came up with a vague idea for a story, and fleshed it out by doing story noodling with Pat WINOLJ. And there things sat for way too long.

I decided I really wasn't happy with what I had in mind, and hadn't put any words to the virtual page, and I'd be better off defaulting. Except that, when I checked, I had misremembered the safe default date, and it had already passed.

So I had to write the damned story to keep in good standing with Yuletide. I buckled down over the weekend, and last night, I finished it. I sent it off to Pat with a note saying that I was at the "I hate this story and everything about it" stage.

Today at the gym, she had a number of suggestions how to tweak things to improve it, but reassured me that it was a coherent story that worked for her. Which was a great relief. I'll want to do one more edit after she sends me her emailed comments, but in the meantime I've uploaded the current version of the story, because the deadline is imminent (sometime tonight). Thankfully, it's fine to keep tweaking things up to the point where the archive goes live.

I had such good intentions for this year. I was going to get the story done early so I didn't have to worry about things. And maybe even pick up a pinch-hit. Ha bloody ha. I wish I could figure out a way to deal with my decades-old procrastinatory tendencies. I do sometimes wonder about my executive function issues. But at least I know it's nothing new.

And right now I'm in a small bout of "yes, it needs an edit, but thank Ghu it's done" euphoria, and I can actually start to look forward to reading from this year's batch of stories.

Comments

[sartorias]

Good for you! Indeed, you can let it rest a couple of days and buff it up this coming weekend.

[naomikritzer]

I also procrastinated, procrastinated some more, blithely counted on friends posting to LJ to remind me that the deadline was getting close, and then realized it was this Wednesday.

I'm not entirely happy with my story, either, but I think it's OK.

I still have a treat I want to write, but I'm not sure it's going to happen. We'll see.

[carbonel]

Several years ago, I missed the posting deadline (and thus technically defaulted) because I'd assumed that the deadline would be at midnight. I posted the story the next day, which cleared my default status, but it was still pretty embarrassing. Since then, I've tried to fix the day before in my mind as THE DAY.

Of course, if I'd burned the safe default deadline into my brain the same way, I wouldn't have a story to post this year. I'm really kind of envious of the people who can toss off stories and pinch-hits and treats for the fun of it. I'm not a natural writer. All of the non-Yuletide writing I've done has been in collaboration.

I'm glad you got yours written and posted in time. I look forward to reading it, even if it's not in one of my fandoms.

And along those lines, I spent Sunday evening and night reading Catfishing on CatNet all in one gulp, and really enjoyed it. I look forward to reading the sequel -- and if you'd like someone with a copyeditor's eye to look it over, I'm happy to volunteer.

[dorinda]

Ack, so stressful! I am sadly familiar with the “I hate my story” stage, but a beta friend kindly but firmly reminds me every time that it is a reliable stage of my process and makes me power on through.

Good job for getting it done! Congratulations!!