carbonel

Yes, this is the time for mending/closure, because you sound ready, and as everybody knows, there are no Mulligans when Death is on the line.

I had emotional abandonment issues with both my parents from an early age (I was eight when my 1-year-old brother was determined to be developmentally disabled, and all of their support systems shifted to him). My mother and I came to an understanding about this back around 1990, when, for the first time ever, I asked her point-blank and in person about it, and she said, "Yes. We did do that. You were already so smart and independent-minded, we thought you'd be okay on your own." It was said so matter-of-factly, that I was floored. When I recovered, I replied, "Mom, I was *eight*." She thought about that, and then she apologized. I accepted it, and felt a huge release of excess mental baggage.

The thing is, I wasn't able to have the same conversation with my father, who died without warning in 1979 at the age of 52. I wish I'd had the opportunity to have a heartfelt chat with him, and never did, and never can. So I say have a talk with your father. Truthfully, what is the worst that could happen? And what is the best?
--Alex