I hate procrastination
Feb. 11th, 2007 09:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
carbonelEspecially when I'm the one doing the procrastination.
I spent today working on a project that I really ought to have finished a month or two ago. It's not quite done, but the end is now within sight. I've made things difficult for some other people by waiting so long, and I might have hurt myself as well.
I wish I knew why I do this. I've been putting the project off one day at a time for way too long, and feeling guilty about it. It's not a time management issue as much as a sheer avoidance thing. This, despite the fact the the project, while being a fair amount of work, was still enjoyable work.
The weird thing is that I don't have this problem in my work life. I work at home and my boss trusts me to do my job. And I do. I coordinate my projects and prioritize them with minimal difficulty. But in my personal life, it's as if I just don't have the discipline to buckle down and do what I should.
I can't even blame it on depression. The meds are working well enough that I feel pretty good most of the time. Except, of course, for feeling guilty because of all the things I should be doing and and am not doing. I hate that feeling, so why don't I avoid it by doing what I ought to?
I dunno.
I spent today working on a project that I really ought to have finished a month or two ago. It's not quite done, but the end is now within sight. I've made things difficult for some other people by waiting so long, and I might have hurt myself as well.
I wish I knew why I do this. I've been putting the project off one day at a time for way too long, and feeling guilty about it. It's not a time management issue as much as a sheer avoidance thing. This, despite the fact the the project, while being a fair amount of work, was still enjoyable work.
The weird thing is that I don't have this problem in my work life. I work at home and my boss trusts me to do my job. And I do. I coordinate my projects and prioritize them with minimal difficulty. But in my personal life, it's as if I just don't have the discipline to buckle down and do what I should.
I can't even blame it on depression. The meds are working well enough that I feel pretty good most of the time. Except, of course, for feeling guilty because of all the things I should be doing and and am not doing. I hate that feeling, so why don't I avoid it by doing what I ought to?
I dunno.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 09:21 pm (UTC)I still haven't figured out how to stop doing it, though.
Wow....
Date: 2007-02-25 12:28 am (UTC)I have a day job now, and going to the office helps my work life. But oh, those personal projects!
I'm convinced that for me it's fear-based, but I'm not sure what I'm afraid of. Not success. Not failure. I've started to say, "the unknown," but Doing It would make It known. Maybe fear of the unknown consequences (good or bad) of Doing It?